Tuesday, 13 November 2012

Dribble




Sometimes I feel like I have an uncanny connection to certain individuals. For instance my father looks like John Lennon... and by looks like I mean he could be John Lennon's younger twin brother. Of course he used to play it up with the beard and the glasses (not so much anymore). Thus, because my father is pretty much John Lenon's long lost twin-- I am the long lost niece of John Lenon, and therefore am closer and regardless of what I actually know about Lenon, know more then you do about him. I once had a woman walk up to me and state "your dad looks like John Lenon...you look like your dad" so from this statement I can only conclude that I look like John Lenon.




There is something very weird about looking like someone else. There was a doppelganger month that took-over facebook where individuals were changing their profile pictures to someone who looked like them. Naturally, I had to join in on this fun so I posted a picture of this model from one of the seasons (because there are about 120 seasons) of America's Next Top Model. I got a bunch of comments asking if this was me...then I got some comment about her/my nipple. Somehow I missed that she was wearing a see-through shirt...if your doppelganger/life-twin chooses to reveal themselves in front of an audience-- they should have to clear it with you first. Otherwise they are just flaunting what you have.


Speaking of flaunting it, I once saw a guy with his pants down on the bus. Luckily his giant shirt was long enough to cover all his bits and pieces, but he had duct tape around his legs and smelled bad. Did I mention he was sitting on the bus...I would hate to be the person who sat on that seat after him.


When you have a seat on the TTC you have a golden ticket in life-- otherwise (during rush hour) the universe seems to be trying to match you up with someone by smooshing you against them. Have you ever noticed that the other person that you are smooshed against tends to be incredibly serious? As long as they are not breathing on me I am okay. If not, I carry with me a pack of gum so if they have stinky breath I toss a piece in their mouth. My favorite passengers are the people who think that they don't need to hold on to the rail but they actually do. I think this would be a good time for a ‘Yoga classes -- the first one is free!’ Advertisement: 'We'll teach you how to engage your core so you can actually surf the subway'. Of course, if someone isn't surfing into you, then you are being preached to by the woman sitting diagonally across from where you are standing. She is never speaking to someone in particular, but just the general mass of people. She felt compelled to speak and once she is done she gets up and leaves at the next stop...no one wants to sit where she was sitting for fear that they too might be compelled to speak about what they are thinking of…


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