My Canine Vinny

I have decided that every actor needs a dog. At first I decided to get a dog because while at school I had an overwhelming feeling that if I didn't get a dog my life will forever be incomplete because I do not have a furry companion who loves me unconditionally, and who I can dress the way I want-- but isn't a doll because he is living. But once I got the little guy, I realized that not only is this dog a great companion-- but he can teach me a lot about acting and booking auditions!


Things your dog will teach you, that will be having you book auditions in no time:

1. Selective Hearing. This technique is really great if you ever feel like you are going to get rejected at an audition. Just turn your back and prance around the room pretending that you didn't hear what they said.

2. Always get what you want. If you are in the audition room and they say thanks or dismiss you before you have a chance to truly show them what you wanted to show them-- just start make high pitch squawking noises, and if this doesn't work gently slap them on their legs while making these noises and eventually the auditioners will give in!

3. Do everything on the count of three. If you are feeling a little uncertain about doing something, just have the auditioners shout -one-two-three-go! then begin! (works every time).

 

(yes my voice sounds dumb...)

4. Motivate yourself with a treat. Sometimes we don't always feel like performing, but even on these days it is possible. Just bring your favourite treat to your audition, and ask the auditioners to dangle it in front of you while you say your lines.

(yes my voice gets really high)

5. If the treat isn't enough motivation-- have the auditioners dangle it in front of you, ask "do you want it" and when you are saying.."not really" have them pull it away really fast and say "I wan'it!". Repeat this several times, and you will find yourself doing everything you can for that treat, and ultimately ace the audition!

6. Head tilt. If you really don't know what the auditioner is asking you to do-- or if you don't really want to perform in the way they are asking you. Just put a really focused look on your face and tilt you head every time they say something. The auditioners will think this is the most adorable thing they have ever seen!

7. Bite. If the auditioners are trying to show you something that you don't really want to do-- bite them. They will back away and give you the space you need to perform your best. You may, however, want to growl at them first so that you give them proper warning with what is to come.
 

8. And finally-- if the audition really didn't go your way-- get a hair cut and come back. Trust me they will have no idea that you are the same person, and you will get another shot!

Before

After

In essence, ever actor should have a dog.